Sunday, September 21, 2008
You better buy a prayer rug; or It's the end of the world... period (Not so catchy as REM's song).
In case you haven't been paying attention, something serious has happened in Great Britain. They have voted to allow muslim law. The basics are as follow. All British laws are ultimatum... unless you are muslim. In those cases you can overrule British law. There is nothing wrong with muslim law when the country is muslim. However, England is neither muslim, nor is it a theocracy. This is dangerous. I believe, at some point the Brits will over turn this ruling. Probably some angry radical muslims will burn a part of London in protest... or blow up a building. That's what you get when you elect socialists and live in a society that says, "Everyone's culture is right. We need to just talk things out." Stupid Brit Parlament. What's next? Maybe you can welcome child molesters and make them exempt under "Molesters Laws". Hey, let's allow Nazis their own rights because their laws are different. Freaking morons. My suggestion to the world is to duck and cover. Hide any evidence you aren't a muslim because, once Iran makes a nuke, we will be running for our lives.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
My Latest Pet Peeves; or As If I Didn't Post Enough Gripes on this Blog
Believe it or not, I am a generally good natured guy. I still have pet peeves. I know this blog is almost becoming the center of all my gripes. That is why I am going to vent the top pet peeves on my mind, and hopefully make this whole world a better place. Okay, maybe I'll just make myself a better person to be around.
People who don't pay attention on the road:
I really began getting on this issue a month ago when I was stuck behind a woman swerving everywhere on the road, as I was leaving the neighborhood. I thought she was drunk. As I pulled next to her at the stop light, I learned the horrible truth. As I waited for the left turn light I watched this lady dig a spoon into a bowl of cereal and scoop it into her mouth. (This is where I wish this was radio so I could take a dramatic pause.) At what point did eating cereal from a bowl while driving seem like a good idea? What more can I say?
Since this incident everyone who is driving erratically or sitting through an entire green light has just irritated me. Every person on their "bluetooth". Every person talking to the person beside them. It's driving me batty. This is why I leave an hour and a half before I need to be at work. There's less drivers to make me crazy.
Raleigh's mayor... and the our Governor, while I'm at it:
If you haven't been paying attention, I hate politicians. Even worse, I hate stupid politicians... even more the ones who act like they are fooling the public. I don't believe anyone is truly stupid. Even mentally challenged people know what is going on to some extent. However, there's stupid behavior and stupid ideas. In fact you can do enough stupid things in your life that everyone associates stupidity with you. This is the case with Mayor Meeker and Governor Easley.
Meeker is throwing a weekend long block party for a stupid convention center... with the threat of a tropical storm. However, he did not approve the construction of plentiful parking around the center. Of course he can make plenty of money from parking tickets, so why make legal parking spaces in abundance? As well, he can make more money from constant expansion of the city, but the utilities are having a hard time keeping up. The recent water shortage in Raleigh should have been a decent sign that maybe growth should be slowed down. Seriously!!!!! I will run for mayor of Raleigh, if people will endorse me. Anyone could do a better job of controlling the city council from their stupid spending. Roads remain horrible, taxes explode, and no one questions the mayor or the governor.
As for Easley.... Geez... I'm glad he's in his last term. He held the school system hostage so we could get a lottery. What a bust that lottery is. He drives Stock Cars into walls on an annual basis. I'm tired of the news interrupting the Price is Right to tell me the governor ran into the wall at The Beast... going 25 MPH. He backs a corrupt senator from New York, and an adultering congressman from NC. I think I could govern better than Easley simply by doing nothing.
People telling me what's unhealthy (when they're not my doctor):
A few weeks ago my parents told me not to microwave food in a plastic dish, because it might give me cancer. Seriously.... I know they are my parents and are looking out for me. I am also a single guy that lives in a house by himself. If I have pork ribs sitting in a tupperware bowl and I'm hungry, guess what. Those suckers are getting nuked in a tupperware dish. I'm tired of everything being bad for me. If I don't exercise it's unhealthy, but if I exercise too much it'll kill me too. If I breathe the wrong kind of air I'll die, but if I don't breathe I'll die too. If I eat too much meat I'm being unhealthy, but if I don't get the protein meat provides... guess... yeah it's unhealthy. Instead of preaching to us about what's good or bad, try preaching moderation. Nicotine has great benefits. However, constant intake of cigarettes is very deadly. Same with alcohol. Same with meat, carbs, eggs, sex, Justin Timberlake, and poker.
The Press... in general:
Yeah, if you've read my posts you already knew this. I know a lot of people in "the business". They're like Virginia Tech or UNC fans. They're great people when they are in very small groups (say 1-2 people). However, when they get an entire network going, it's all over. I dare you to say you like to talk politics to anyone you ever meet in the media business. Maybe not even politics, but celebrities. You will be looking for an exit or a gun in 5 minutes.
That ShamWow! commercial:
Yes, I know. It's made by Germans. Olympic divers use it. It sells itself. What I don't know is why they have that weasley guy who looks like a frat boy from Rutgers plugging the product. Yeah, he's a hawker. He's following the ancient circus tradition. I have a prodct too. It's called "If you see that guy in public, buy one of those towels and whip him with it."
Guys on TV telling me who is going to win:
"Hi, I'm a washed up pro. I couldn't keep up with whatever sport I was in, so I went into "sports media". However, at the exact moment I signed my (insert network letters) contract, I magically gained the ability to tell exactly what's going to happen in the game. Even if I am wrong, I will know exactly why." Please... just retire. Yes, you have 15 starving children and 3 plastic wives to maintain. Still, if you are going to proclaim you have the magical vision, prove it before you proclaim it.
Rude people:
There's something going on there. Rude people don't pay attention, they don't care, they don't even act nice in any way. I can deal with gruff people. I can take the dry humored folks. But rudeness is wrong. If you exhibit any of the following behaviors, you need to get yourself in line and quit being a jerk:
1. You carry a phone conversation while in any kind of line. While driving gives you a half point.
2. You talk about others in the third person without trying to include them in the conversation.
3. You cut off people in traffic, use an ending lane to get ahead of drivers, drive in the breakdown lane, or ignore people trying to merge.
4. You ignore people talking directly to you. (This includes really annoying people... like me.)
5. You don't return calls in a timely manner.
6. You break dates on a whim.
7. You include yourself in every story you tell.
8. You criticize people in a good way... or compliment in a bad way. This is known as being passive aggressive.
9. You don't admit when you're wrong.
10. You don't laugh when everyone else does. (This excludes cases when everyone's laughing at you. But you make more friends if you laugh at yourself.)
Getting the run-around:
AKA Being lead on; being teased; a wild goose chase; hunting snipes. I hate this. It can be any of a number of situations. A girl can lead you on. Some times it's a company. Other times, your boss gives you the run around. In any situation, it is one easy way to get on my bad side.
Now for the good news about these pet peeves. I tend to have the memory of a gold fish... which is a fallacy... about gold fish. I'll deal with that in a later blog. Anyway, I tend to forget. So you may as well be rude to me and ride my peeves, because I'll be friends with you 5 minutes later.
People who don't pay attention on the road:
I really began getting on this issue a month ago when I was stuck behind a woman swerving everywhere on the road, as I was leaving the neighborhood. I thought she was drunk. As I pulled next to her at the stop light, I learned the horrible truth. As I waited for the left turn light I watched this lady dig a spoon into a bowl of cereal and scoop it into her mouth. (This is where I wish this was radio so I could take a dramatic pause.) At what point did eating cereal from a bowl while driving seem like a good idea? What more can I say?
Since this incident everyone who is driving erratically or sitting through an entire green light has just irritated me. Every person on their "bluetooth". Every person talking to the person beside them. It's driving me batty. This is why I leave an hour and a half before I need to be at work. There's less drivers to make me crazy.
Raleigh's mayor... and the our Governor, while I'm at it:
If you haven't been paying attention, I hate politicians. Even worse, I hate stupid politicians... even more the ones who act like they are fooling the public. I don't believe anyone is truly stupid. Even mentally challenged people know what is going on to some extent. However, there's stupid behavior and stupid ideas. In fact you can do enough stupid things in your life that everyone associates stupidity with you. This is the case with Mayor Meeker and Governor Easley.
Meeker is throwing a weekend long block party for a stupid convention center... with the threat of a tropical storm. However, he did not approve the construction of plentiful parking around the center. Of course he can make plenty of money from parking tickets, so why make legal parking spaces in abundance? As well, he can make more money from constant expansion of the city, but the utilities are having a hard time keeping up. The recent water shortage in Raleigh should have been a decent sign that maybe growth should be slowed down. Seriously!!!!! I will run for mayor of Raleigh, if people will endorse me. Anyone could do a better job of controlling the city council from their stupid spending. Roads remain horrible, taxes explode, and no one questions the mayor or the governor.
As for Easley.... Geez... I'm glad he's in his last term. He held the school system hostage so we could get a lottery. What a bust that lottery is. He drives Stock Cars into walls on an annual basis. I'm tired of the news interrupting the Price is Right to tell me the governor ran into the wall at The Beast... going 25 MPH. He backs a corrupt senator from New York, and an adultering congressman from NC. I think I could govern better than Easley simply by doing nothing.
People telling me what's unhealthy (when they're not my doctor):
A few weeks ago my parents told me not to microwave food in a plastic dish, because it might give me cancer. Seriously.... I know they are my parents and are looking out for me. I am also a single guy that lives in a house by himself. If I have pork ribs sitting in a tupperware bowl and I'm hungry, guess what. Those suckers are getting nuked in a tupperware dish. I'm tired of everything being bad for me. If I don't exercise it's unhealthy, but if I exercise too much it'll kill me too. If I breathe the wrong kind of air I'll die, but if I don't breathe I'll die too. If I eat too much meat I'm being unhealthy, but if I don't get the protein meat provides... guess... yeah it's unhealthy. Instead of preaching to us about what's good or bad, try preaching moderation. Nicotine has great benefits. However, constant intake of cigarettes is very deadly. Same with alcohol. Same with meat, carbs, eggs, sex, Justin Timberlake, and poker.
The Press... in general:
Yeah, if you've read my posts you already knew this. I know a lot of people in "the business". They're like Virginia Tech or UNC fans. They're great people when they are in very small groups (say 1-2 people). However, when they get an entire network going, it's all over. I dare you to say you like to talk politics to anyone you ever meet in the media business. Maybe not even politics, but celebrities. You will be looking for an exit or a gun in 5 minutes.
That ShamWow! commercial:
Yes, I know. It's made by Germans. Olympic divers use it. It sells itself. What I don't know is why they have that weasley guy who looks like a frat boy from Rutgers plugging the product. Yeah, he's a hawker. He's following the ancient circus tradition. I have a prodct too. It's called "If you see that guy in public, buy one of those towels and whip him with it."
Guys on TV telling me who is going to win:
"Hi, I'm a washed up pro. I couldn't keep up with whatever sport I was in, so I went into "sports media". However, at the exact moment I signed my (insert network letters) contract, I magically gained the ability to tell exactly what's going to happen in the game. Even if I am wrong, I will know exactly why." Please... just retire. Yes, you have 15 starving children and 3 plastic wives to maintain. Still, if you are going to proclaim you have the magical vision, prove it before you proclaim it.
Rude people:
There's something going on there. Rude people don't pay attention, they don't care, they don't even act nice in any way. I can deal with gruff people. I can take the dry humored folks. But rudeness is wrong. If you exhibit any of the following behaviors, you need to get yourself in line and quit being a jerk:
1. You carry a phone conversation while in any kind of line. While driving gives you a half point.
2. You talk about others in the third person without trying to include them in the conversation.
3. You cut off people in traffic, use an ending lane to get ahead of drivers, drive in the breakdown lane, or ignore people trying to merge.
4. You ignore people talking directly to you. (This includes really annoying people... like me.)
5. You don't return calls in a timely manner.
6. You break dates on a whim.
7. You include yourself in every story you tell.
8. You criticize people in a good way... or compliment in a bad way. This is known as being passive aggressive.
9. You don't admit when you're wrong.
10. You don't laugh when everyone else does. (This excludes cases when everyone's laughing at you. But you make more friends if you laugh at yourself.)
Getting the run-around:
AKA Being lead on; being teased; a wild goose chase; hunting snipes. I hate this. It can be any of a number of situations. A girl can lead you on. Some times it's a company. Other times, your boss gives you the run around. In any situation, it is one easy way to get on my bad side.
Now for the good news about these pet peeves. I tend to have the memory of a gold fish... which is a fallacy... about gold fish. I'll deal with that in a later blog. Anyway, I tend to forget. So you may as well be rude to me and ride my peeves, because I'll be friends with you 5 minutes later.
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