A Few Things I Want to See Happen in Sports This Year; or South Carolina is USC too

Since I am a red blooded Southern boy, I consider the beginning of the sports year to be opening day of football season. It's like Christmas in the Summer... it's Sportsmas. To kick off this grand holiday here are a few of my Sportsmas wishes:

1. Southern Cal loses their entire season... except to Noter Dame. Is there more of a team that needs to have a major NCAA violations investigation? I don't think so. Plus they're on the West Coast. I can't pull for a West Coast team.

2. No one from the NFL partakes in any criminal activity. This includes Southern Cal, since they are LA's pro team.

3. The World Series comes down to Tampa Bay and the Cubs. This will be the only time I pull for the AL... unless the Mets were representing the National League. I don't dislike the Amercan League as much as I hate the DH rule. Don't get me started on that crap.

4. Steven A. Smith vanishes into nothing. Maybe he goes to India and finds a sports guru. He learns the art of not being such a moron. He comes back and begins doing real sports analysis with people of all races and preaches love... not hate. He converts Jim Rome to Smithism and they tour the world in a soft rock band called "Quite Frankly, I'm Burning" or "Rome & Smith: The Quiet Experience".

5. Chris "Boomer... not Esiason" Berman loses his voice. He's stupid. He says nothing. He doesn't even pay attention to the game he announces. His voice is like a woodchipper mixed with a leaf blower.

6. Noter Dame loses all of their games, loses their NBC contract, and realizes they need to join the Big Eleven... I mean Ten. Seriously, how many more parents are going to have to explain why the Big Ten has Eleven teams? It's hard enough for a 3 year old to count without having to do abstract math.

7. Southern Cal loses in court. Who seriously sues an older school over use of their letters. South Carolina has been SC and USC for a longer ammount of time than Southern Cal. I see this case being a flop later in the courts. Basically, USC... the one out west, has more money and the California judge went to USC... the California one. If the trial was on the east coast, USC... the South Carolina one would have won. The logo in question was long in use by South Carolina, before Southern Cal ever existed. Plus, the name is "University of South Carolina" and the state abbreviation is SC. You can't change the initials. Next, UNC sues for the name "Carolina".

8. Strahan returns so we can get some more funny commercials. I guess a return of decent commercials in general, with or without Strahan, would be my general wish.

9. We don't have to listen to how wonderful the Summer Games were. It was in China on international TV. It was planned out. The US did poorly, except where they were dominant. It was the Olympics. On to traditional sports with contact and real injuries.

10. This picture gets put everywhere,

Politics as Usual; or The New Coke

As I am recovering from a pretty nasty bug from this weekend, I have found something else to make me sick. A new explosion of politics. I am seriously tired of the elections and they aren't even here yet. Here are the list of things that are "grinding my gears" (thanks, Family Guy).

1. Democrats pride themselves on being the free spirit hippie voice of America. They put their convention in Denver. That entire town is a model of new age, stoner, snowboarding, making millions off of taxpayers by ripping them off on organic t-shirts, ideology. However, they have set up a secret jail to hold the homeless and protesters. Wait a minute... I thought Democrats wanted to eliminate people from being poor, but not by elimintating the poor. If the Shang-ri-la of liberal ideals has homeless people... wow. It's all lip service. Also, it's funny the same people that 40 years ago were protesting now decide they want to lock up protesters. Overall, it sounds like China and the Olympics. Both China and the Democratic Party are run by Communists who feed off a capitalist economy. The difference is China doesn't hide it.

2. I read an old but interesting article that made me realize that the Obama campaign is nothing but a marketing strategy.

Basically, it shows how Obama is Nike and Hillary is a pair of simple cross-trainers.
I can take the marketing farther, and update it to the current stage of the election. Obama is to Pepsi as McCain is to Coke. Obama is running a trendy pop-culture themed campaign (I could compare him to Tab and say its an empty campaign devoid of any true fulfillment... but you think it's healthy). McCain is the relable brand that everyone knows, and doesn't have to prove itself. Obama gets Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut... Michael Jackson, Jeff Gordon, Regis Philbin, John Tesh, the Spice Girls, and Brittany Spears. McCain gets the Olympic contract, FIFA and UEFA cups, NASCAR, NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, American Idol and a billboard at Turner Field. (No wonder Obama hates the big companies). One is for teenie-boppers who hang at the food court, and the other is a well established product that can be depended on. One changes with the culture and one is pretty well settled.

3.Only politicians would parade around a person as corrupt as Ted Kennedy as if he were a god. You think I am lying? Here's the facts. The Kennedys made their name from connections with the mob, selling alcohol during prohibition. JFK and Bobby were thrown into the political arena because they had Mobster and Union votes... and their smarter older brother died in WWII. They used family strength to dodge everything while in office.
Teddy drove his pregnant girlfriend (or just a girl he knocked up) into a river (he said he was drunk, but he never did any jail time... since he was a senator). As well, he blocked a wind turbine construction, because it would block his view. Teddy, gave huge breaks to oil companies, set up off shore bank accounts to avoid taxes he approved, approved union bullying, earmarked valuable money for "money pit" public projects... need I go on? And this is a guy who said, "Integrity is the lifeblood of democracy. Deceit is a poison in its veins." Maybe politicians should read more into the guy saying the words.

Oh yeah. And they paraded out Jimmy Carter. What a waste of breatheable air that guy is.

Well, this concludes my ranting on the downfall of politics and such... for now. I cant help it. They put themselves out there as supreme beings. Someone has to bring them back down.