Me and her... or Is there any wonder I'm not married.

This past weekend I went on a date. Granted it was at a free concert downtown, but it was supposed to be a date. We sat far enough back that the band playing wouldn't overcome our ability to cary on a conversation. However, a conversation never occured. It was me trying to fit in a word while she chatted on her cell phone. Eventually I just rocked out to Alter Bridge and I don't intend on calling said female ever again.

I only wonder when women became so stuck on themselves that cellphone conversations were exceptable on a date. It's not the first time this has happened. I'm not a bad date either, so that's not the excuse. I blame it on women being encouraged to see men as an accesory, rather than a blessing. It's like reverse sexism. Men are treated as objects and women are praised for acting so. Look at popular media and prove me wrong.

I've been with women who've treated me from a key to another guy, a bookmark, an ATM, and several other analogies. It's demoralizing. People wonder why I'm afraid to ask a lady out. Basically, I have been trained to know what is going to happen. It's one thing to expect to not get a second date. It's another when you are bombarded with examples of how men are horrible and deserved to be used, getting used, and being ignored.

If women want a key to understanding guys, it's not that complicated:
1. We want to be listened to, and feel we are a part the conversation.
2. We like to have our egos stroked. Compliment us every chance you get.
3. Don't ignore us, because every guy likes to know you're thinking about us.
4. Just because we don't notice everything or drop money on everything doesn't make us less romantic.
5. We are going to notice the hot woman in the short skirt. Get over it.
6. You look hot. We might not say it. We wouldn't go out with you if we didn't think so.
7. We don't care about what happened in highschool.
8. There's three topics guys will pay attention to. One is sports. Two is music. The third only relates to your lesbian experience in college.
9. We will kill your ex-boyfriend.
10. We will kill the guy making eyes at you.

Number 11 should be that you can call us. The whole asking a girl out was passe once you quit thinking you were inferior.

See? Not so hard. Guys are primitive. We are simple and don't overthink things. That's what women like. If we were girly and emotional, women would hate men like they hate other women. Don't confront me on that. I work with nothing but women. I know the rules. I've heard the stories. Don't make me qoute when my co-workers' cycles are. That's disturbing enough.